The American Beard Report Issue #11
Welcome to another exciting edition of the American Beard Report!
We have been working on restructuring this report to bring you the best and most relevant facial hair related information in every issue. We hope that everyone had a great Holiday season and that the beginning of 2020 was spectacular for all.
Derby City Whisker Club’s Whiskermania 5!
A recap by Ryan Gore
“Woo (in the tone of Ric Flair) what a rush (in the tone of the Legion of Doom) of a weekend!
While it was chilly in the Derby City, the facial hair action was red hot at Diamonds Pub Concert Hall for WhiskerMania 5! This event brought the very best in facial hair from all around the mid-west and south (and some from beyond) to Louisville, KY to compete in 15 different facial hair categories and a couple of extra fun ones. The whole weekend was a complete success and while we're still getting all the final numbers together, we can say that it brought over 160 individual competitors in and we’re expecting we raised a good amount of money for Active Heroes!
WM5 photos are from Scott Utterback from the Courier Journal
Some other fun highlights:
- This year we held our first ever Rookie Royale Rumble that allowed those new to the competitive facial hair scene to shine on stage. The winner was Norman Goins from the Cincinnati Beard Barons who has had amazing first year competing.
- Our Best Club winner for this year was the Cincinnati Beard Barons who brought a force of members to the event. The Hampton Roads Traveling Gnome (a traveling beard club trophy) was also up for grabs, and with the Barons having already been awarded it in the past, the trophy went to Bearded Villains Southern Indiana.
- This year's Best In Show trophy was awarded to Joe Farrell from Steel City Beard & Mustache Club for his Freestyle Beard. This is the third time Joe has received a perfect score at WhiskerMania.”
WM5 photos are from Scott Utterback from the Courier Journal
WM5 photos are from Scott Utterback from the Courier Journal
If you would like to submit highlights or an in-depth review of your competition or local facial hair related event, please send it to hello@beardteamusa.org
Facial Hair in the Olympics
Beard Team USA would like to honor the past and future moustachioed American Olympians as we close in on the 2020 Summer Olympics. The photo on the left is the iconic capture of Mark Spitz from 1972. He is wearing the 7 Gold Medals he won (all of which were World Records). On the right we have a modern take on the iconic photo. It’s MJ Johnson from 2020, wearing Facial Hair National and World Championship medals... setting zero world records in the process.
An Important message from the American Mustache Institute:
Steve Prefontaine. Mark Spitz. Bruce Baumgartner. Matt Hamilton. These patriotic athletes have not only represented the entirety of the greatest nation since the dawn of time, they did so whilst representing the legions of Moustachioed Americans back home and abroad. Indeed, these individuals represent a small fraternity of trailblazers who took advantage of the scientifically-proven competitive edge provided by the lower-nose forestry unit.
“…however, that while the IOC and affiliated anti-doping agencies do not consider the mustache a P.E.F.D. (performance enhancing facial device), the practice is widely frowned upon in the men’s synchronized swimming community…”
As evidenced through the clinical research done by the American Mustache Institute, deployment of a mouth brow has been shown to increase athletic ability by an average of 38.4%. It is important to note, however, that while the IOC and affiliated anti-doping agencies do not consider the mustache a P.E.F.D. (Performance Enhancing Facial Device), the practice is widely frowned upon in the men’s synchronized swimming community as the last time the US Men’s team competed fully-follicled it left an unexpecting spectator nearly blinded by the visibly raw machismo emanating from the pool.
While our athletes prepare to compete in Tokyo 2020, we fully support their vigorous training regimen and are proud to share that a diet steeped in red meat, various cheeses, and at least 4-5 servings of Kentucky bourbon has been instituted at the *cafeteria in Colorado Springs, CO.
*the cafeteria is not in the Olympic Training center, but in the backseat of Chairman Emeritus Dr. Aaron Perlut’s 1975 AMC Gremlin.
The 2019 National Beard and Moustache Championships in Tinley Park, IL were a success! Together we raised $15,000 and counting* for our three chosen charitable organizations: Oscar Mike, P.A.W.S. of Tinley Park, and Together We Cope. We’d like to thank the 300+ competitors and everyone else who attended or watched the Live Stream, and we’d like to thank our awesome sponsors, Remington Beard Boss and Skully’s CTZ Beard Oil!
*It’s not too late to buy the official T-shirt! You can purchase this directly from Oscar Mike here!
Editorial from Beard Ed
Vox recently ran an article titled “Why famous dudes grow beards to deal with existential crises“. In the article, the writer Luke Winkie focuses on the growing of a beard as an apathetic gesture, a symbol of giving up and admitting defeat. At the end of the article, he sarcastically advises men to “grow bangs instead” if they feel the need to alter their appearance after a public embarrassment.
However, the article is not all negative.
There is a brief section of the article that quotes author Christopher Oldstone-Moore who wrote Of Beards and Men.
(Quoting the Vox article), The way Oldstone-Moore sees it, beards can be a force of reclamation, rather than regret. “In our 20th and 21st century culture, we established shaving as a norm for social propriety. Typically men in the limelight, men in show business, politics, and business, they’re under a particular pressure to perform,” he says. “When they step out of that pressure cooker, they can express their freedom from those constraints.” The example Oldstone-Moore finds most useful is David Letterman, who was known for his anti-authority slant on CBS and NBC, and who clearly revels in his newfound Appalachian glory. “On the first day of Stephen [Colbert’s] show, an energy left me, it’s not my problem anymore,” he said… “I always told myself when the show goes away, I’ll stop shaving. I had to shave every day, and I got so sick and tired of it.” According to Oldstone-Moore, Letterman’s appearance and attitude ensures everyone around him understands that he is finished with that part of his life, and that for the first time in 40 years, he is enjoying a moment where nobody can tell him what to do. “It’s frankly a middle finger,” he explains.
Beard Team USA has always been an advocate of “being yourself”, and growing facial hair is a way to do this. If you have facial hair that grows from your face, shaving your face everyday is actually hiding your face. By this method of extreme exfoliation, you deny the world your natural self. It is a phenomenon that has been accepted by mainstream society and propelled by fashion and grooming industry alike for generations.
Don’t buy into the negative stereotypes that some parts of society have a tendency to perpetuate.
Facial hair is a wonderful expression of your individuality and personal freedom. In the words of Aarne Bielefeldt, “Let it Grow!”
-Beard Ed
